So much chaos. So much pain. Agony, conflict, arguments. Life is hard for a 3.5 year old. New school and new faces without parents nearby. Being told not to this or that without being allowed to wail, whine, and cry.
I’m scared. Scared to wake up in the morning and having to hear him scream NO at every single thing we need to do to get ready for preschool. Scared to respond his whining with yelling, a note too stern for little kids. Patience has its limitations, but guess what? He have limitations, too.
He is scared of being yelled at after asking for something he wants. Scared of being told no, of stepping outside boundaries he never knew existed. Scared of losing his privileges and toys when he doesn’t do what he’s asked. But he have to be strong in his principles. Because if not, how else would he survive? He is scared of losing me.
Our leisure morning walk replaced by the chaos of get-ready-to-school routines. His bedtime is rushed, playtime limited and replaced with readings and calm-down time. Then along came a little baby brother who changed his whole world. Now he have to wait longer for everything.
I’m not only his mama anymore. He no longer have my undivided attention or crazy play all through the day. No more lunch dates or stroll around ‘fun place’ just the two of us. Above all that, he still get yelled at for just being him.
I know, son. I’m trying my best to love you at your most difficult time as you have loved me. Thank you for forgiving me every morning. I know you didn’t forget our arguments and these crazy new rules. You just chose to forgive, and to love me. Again and again.
P.S. This was written almost a year ago when baby brother was just born.
Agnes' Sanctuary. A journey to inspire. 